想明白（之六）

前面提到过，阻碍“有意义的讨论发生、进行、并得出有效结论”的最大障碍是讨论双方或者多方以胜负为目的，而不是以探寻真相为目的。

Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20111113104325/http://www.lixiaolai.com/archives/408.html

Figure It Out (Part 6)

> By Li Xiaolai · 2008-05-13 · [Original (web archive)](https://web.archive.org/web/20111113104325/http://www.lixiaolai.com/archives/408.html) (Chinese)
> Our translation from the Chinese original.

I mentioned earlier that the biggest obstacle preventing "a meaningful discussion from happening, proceeding, and reaching a valid conclusion" is that the two or more parties to the discussion aim at winning and losing, rather than at seeking the truth. Because many people, intentionally or not, ignore or even trample on some basic principles of reason, for example: 1) [the premise of a meaningful discussion is that the two sides must not only "compete with each other" but, more importantly, also "cooperate with each other"](http://www.lixiaolai.com/?p=932). 2) [facts, the real situation, truth and reason (so-called "Truth") exist independently, and never exist attached to any individual or group.](http://www.lixiaolai.com/?p=933)3) [Truth does not change, nor does it change because of anyone; what keeps changing is only people's interpretation or understanding of Truth](http://www.lixiaolai.com/?p=936).

"I understand all the principles but just can't do it" is perhaps the awkward predicament that the vast majority of people run into again and again, countless times, in their lives. In daily life, those who were originally discussants but later turn into arguers who argue for the sake of arguing very often really don't do it on purpose; like the snake that, after waking up, in the end still has to bite the farmer, what they do merely shows their nature, which is hard to change.

What exactly is there in human nature that is so "evil" (not pejorative here; it only means negative), so stubborn, so universal, that it leaves us so helpless against it? The answer is very simple—fear, and fear brings another, even more destructive trait—cowardice.

Books on thinking training always mention the many obstacles that prevent people from thinking correctly (that is, figuring things out), for example # Mine-is-better (mine is better), # [Face-saving](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Face_saving) (insisting on saving face at all costs 1 ), # Resistance to Change (refusing to change), # Conformity (going along with the majority), # Stereotyping (simple, crude classification), # Self-Deception (deceiving oneself)…… All of these can ultimately be traced to the deep-rooted fear in human nature and the cowardice that fear brings.

In fact, people always dividing everything into good and evil is a very tedious thing, without any real meaning. A more meaningful division is "strong and weak." Very often, so-called kindness is merely an expression of cowardice. People say [Gao Yaojie](http://www.lixiaolai.com/?p=911) is very kind, willing to help those villagers of the "AIDS villages," but I would rather say that old Grandma Gao Yaojie is a very strong person, and that her strength gives her the capital for true kindness. Some people say that those who "made black-hearted money" donating large sums to charities is hypocrisy; I would rather say that, in fact, one has to admit that such people really are very "strong," and so they have the capital to do "hypocritical" things. Strong and weak are the essence that truly exists in nature; good and evil are, more often than not, merely the wishful definitions of the weak.

As one of the species doomed to grow old and die, human nature is born full of fear. Because we fear our own death, we would rather believe there is a place called heaven; because we fear the pain of losing our loved ones, we would rather believe in an afterlife, in future lives, in reincarnation; because we fear that the strong know no bounds and yet cannot face our own cowardice and incompetence, we widely believe that "evil is repaid with evil, good with good," while not forgetting to add the story of "the farmer and the snake" to the textbooks that educate our children. [The successful](http://www.lixiaolai.com/?p=240), afraid that their vested interests will be harmed, when "sharing" their experience of success exaggerate as if possessed all the obstacles they ran into, while never saying a word about the decisive role of "luck"; the mediocre who accomplish nothing hungrily lap up the successful people's "sharing," and when they hear that the successful people ran into "insurmountable" difficulties and survived nine deaths, they secretly rejoice in their subconscious—thinking, so there was a reason I didn't succeed!

When I was little, I found it very strange that the Bible repeatedly mentions the "seven deadly sins" (gluttony, greed, sloth, lust, pride, envy and wrath) yet never says a word about the greatest enemy, "fear," and the imp of this demon fear, "cowardice." [Translator's note: factual error in the original; the list of seven deadly sins comes from later Christian tradition and does not appear as such in the Bible; translated as written] That deep-rooted fear is the root of all evil, and that cowardice is the real "original sin"! Later I figured this out too: what religion actually needs most is "fear." To make people yearn for heaven, it designed a fearsome hell. Without a terrifying hell, how could heaven be something to yearn for?

Everyone has weaknesses, because everyone has fear. Fear has to be overcome; courage has to be cultivated. In fact, the word "cultivated" in "courage has to be cultivated" would be better replaced by a plainer word, "accumulated." Courage, like wisdom, is obtained through accumulation. When a person has only a tiny bit of courage, expecting him to "root out the wicked and protect the good," "carry out justice on Heaven's behalf," "uphold righteousness" or whatever is a very naive and very unrealistic idea. A person's strength or weakness is actually equivalent to the score of courage minus fear—if it's a positive number, he is strong; if it's a negative number, he is weak. Everyone starts from a negative number. Any normal person has to go through a great deal of struggle to make the result of the equation positive. And no matter who he is, no matter how strong, it is impossible to eliminate fear completely: courage may be zero, but fear is always greater than zero.

The ancients said that what is precious in a person is knowing oneself. An important precondition for escaping the trap of "self-righteousness" is facing up to one's own fear, because fear always exists. In today's natural world, very few animals take humans as their staple food, yet people being bitten and eaten happens often, mainly because those animals were startled and frightened, and only then went on the attack. By the same reasoning, those people who suddenly abandon discussion and "turn" irrational become that way only because, in that instant, fear gained the upper hand and their courage was used up. Don't think you possess boundless courage, don't think you have no fear; there will always be a moment when your courage cannot hold off your fear—so what reason is there not to understand other people's fear?

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Also, here I'll add a view. Recently a word has become especially popular: "brain-damaged." Some people use this word to mock those who still can't figure things out. But people who mock others as "brain-damaged" are usually not very kind, because they have merely figured things out in some one respect, or are strong in that respect (who can figure everything out in every respect, and be strong in every respect?); but even so, what need is there to mock others? Of course there's no need to be so self-righteous as to think of oneself as an enlightener, and of course there's no need to belittle oneself and think everyone is equal in the ability to think; but hurting others with one's words is certainly not something a person who can figure things out would do.

1. [Face](http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/face/) by By Sarah Rosenberg [Translator's note: "By By" is doubled in the original link text; kept as written]